return

To blog or not to blog?

Hmm, there have been many thoughts in my mind lately. And I wonder whether or not to write it down or preserve it somewhere. Or if I should confide in my own privacy by placing it on the public internet.

Too many things have been happening the past few weeks. It is chaos.

Some of the things are much enjoyable. But of course, its reciprocal matched.

To write my thoughts down feels like I have been set free because these thoughts are just bugging my mind and I feel as though I should let it out. I know to choose my words carefully, but it is difficult considering how much I want to say to just get the heavy feeling off of my chest.

Expressing my thoughts on here feels like I am drunk because I forget everything in the world that has caused me distress and worry. It gives you that satisfied feeling where you just are happy and crave for more. But I really would rather not put this blog publicly, only hope that a few are reading it.

I cannot help but really say what is on my mind. But discreetly, as I know some of my peers might be reading.

Ah, yes. My peers. Chums. Buddies. Pals. Friends?

To be honest, I have trouble making friends. Tis true.

It is difficult... I cannot fully explain as one who would not know the experiences that I have had or those who are not like myself cannot possibly understand what I mean.

But really, that sentence is true. I do have trouble making friends.

You may be in utter disbelief as you might see me all smiles, like the happy-go-lucky-girl that you and I think that I am sometimes.

But really, things are not what they seem.

Life is full of secrets. It's annoying really because sometimes you have to hide how you feel but you know it won't benefit anyone by telling them everything or just the whole truth because you know that they just simply do not want to hear what you really are thinking or feeling or any other human needs or problems you have going on in your life.

That is enough of me now. I have said enough.

I wish to slumber, but sometimes desires are not allowed to be.