You #3 (ish.)

Hello!

I hope you have been enjoying my blog posts lately.:)

The past 2 ones were "The High Rise" and "The Hard Fall" .
Yeah, I know, they're slightly sad and a lot went on, but they were based on true events that happened... More info on that later.

Back to You#3!

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So, here it is.
I'll be honest.

Who knew that I'd be writing about you so soon? And so much like this.

I thought that I'd be writing about you in the future when I would've seen you more often and talked to you or when I had better thoughts of you on my mind.
Usually, when I write a "you" post, they're filled with positivity or something of that fluffy item.

For some reason, right now on this post, I guess I'd just be describing how I feel about you right now.

~

You.

Ah, you.

Uhm, where do I start?

Let's see...

Conversations with you were very interesting. Hardly any awkward silences.
We'd do homework together, watch tv together all on the phone, etc.
We'd be complete nerds and play these weird games that filled our brains with knowledge... yeah I know, we were weird.

(I guess I'm being totally honest and open right now. But hey, it's late in the night so yeah.)

"I have to go now," you'd say almost always being the first one to go during the late school nights. You were always the responsible one amongst us.

We'd laugh, we'd cry, we'd pretty much face the world together before...

But nowadays, I find myself drifting slowly away from you.

It used to be so easy. I'd call you, pretend I'm some old chinese guy taking your order from a random chinese resturant, you'd go along and order and I charge you overpriced, etc...

Knowing me so well you'd know what to say. We were pretty inseperable, a team, you and me.

I hardly know what to call you and me now. Heck, you don't even know that I have this blog.

Now, it is easy for us to end a conversation. Just like that. No questions asked...

-----

So readers, close friends, whoever this maybe...
It's probably really obvious who this is about since I wasn't vague about it at all.
If you do know, I'd appreciate it you keep it to yourselves and don't judge too quickly :)

I left this post about "You#3" a bit shorter than the rest I'm assuming.
But the "..." states I'm not quite finished yet.
Who knows how I will feel towards this person? Could change or something.
We'll see.

The Hard Fall

continuation from "The High Rise".

------------------------------


I ran as fast as I could. Warning people. Screaming at the top of my lungs for people to wake up.

Slowly, lights started turning on as I made my way home. I shook mother awake trying to warn her calmly that there was going to be a flood without any explanation.

I went upstairs carrying Vince and telling Stacey and Jeremy to get out of the house. I knew that we wouldn't stand a chance even being sheltered in our small weak house. We had to get somewhere safe.

Floods. We've had 14 in our country last year. Some really brutal ones.
I can't believe that one was happening now.

We were soon all out of the house, people were out of the streets trying to run and be safe. The water was already up to my knees. It was moving fast.

It was dark, lanterns and lights started to appear now. I could faintly see people scrambling, trying to gather their things, while other people were wondering what was the cause or rather trying to investigate.

It was rushing so fast that none of us really had enough time to think. One minute the water was on my knees, and in the few minutes that passed, it was now rising up to my chest.

We were all scared, no doubt about that.

Men and women were trying to hold up little children, their babies, putting them on some flotation device. The elderly were being carried as well.

Thank God that Vince and Jeremy were safe on the raft. I told Stacey to take mother and run across the bridge to get to safety as many people were doing so.

But there were still many little boys and girls, grandpas and grandmas that still needed help. I wasn't going to let them die.

Further in the village, there was a strong cement place, it was already overloaded with 50 people, not being able to fit anymore, yet people were still getting past the gates and pushing their way inside.

I was swimming now when I remembered father. Where was he?
Turning around, people were screaming, trying to float.

I wanted to go back, but decided against it. He wasn't home when I got there.

I heard a piercing shriek coming from the house to the right. The roof was jagged and rusted and had fallen to the ground. It wobbled and was unstable.The house immediately collapsed.

Splashes came from all directions, people were jumping from their house before it could react the same way the previous one had.
The water was extremely cold, it almost felt like a thousand sharp knives were jabbing onto your skin.

It was so strong, the current was so strong. I saw a little boy crying for his mama. I grabbed his hand and put him on a piece of floating wood. A man saw him and tried to float him with the other children making their way across the bridge.

Screams echoed everywhere. The rain poured hard, adding more water to the ground. I saw the bridge that I had to cross to get to my mother. Hopefully, they were all far ahead and out of harm's way.

I still tried to help people along the way. Water was still rising.

I heard a scream for help to my left, it was a woman crying pointing towards her elderly mother who was stuck on the second floor, she couldn't get down.

Her green shirt stuck to her bony skin like glue. She was wet and her hair covered her face like seaweed.

"Don't worry," I said to her as calm as possible, "I'll get help."

She nodded but still shrieking. I tried to get some help but chaos was everywhere and they were unable to get to me.

The mud was thickening, and it was harder to walk with the rain pouring harder. I called one more time, but they weren't coming.

The woman stayed there, now trying to fight the current to get to her mother.

"Get back, go! I'll get her!" I yelled.

She wasn't convinced.

There wasn't any way through the front door anymore. Water was flooding inside, rising higher up the stairs. Soon the 2nd floor would be filled.

I quickly tried to find another way for her to get out. I didn't know her mother, but I wanted her to get out as much as she did.

"Jump!" I yelled to 60 year old who clutching the curtain by the window, "I'll catch you."

She looked at me with fear in her eyes and shook her head.
I tried again. She refused.
The rain was pounding harder, time was running out.

I looked back at the woman who was crying, holding on to my back. She squeezed my body, trying to hold on to me without being sucked into the water.

"Please, try, I'll catch--"

I was cut off by a loud cracking noise. I looked at the sky, thinking it was lighting but was mistaken.
A metal contraption slammed into the large tree that was rapidly being pulled by gravity. It was coming towards me.

Pushing off, I swam as fast as possible just missing the tree that had just fallen down. I breathed in relief, I was alive.

I felt the woman's grip loosen on my back and looked at her, hoping she was alright.

A look of horror flashed through her eyes before she fell underwater.
I grabbed her and tried to pull her up. It was no use. She was gone.

I swallowed hard and turned to look up to where she was last looking.

There, under the tree that I had just escaped, was her mother.
Her small, frail body. Lifeless. Crushed under the house.


----


to be continued...

The High Rise.

Who knew it could happen so soon?

It was just a normal day for me. I did chores, took care of the house, my younger siblings after and when they didn't have school, while my parents were out for work, trying their best to make money so we could eat.

It wasn't a big deal, I could always go and climb some trees and gather some fruits or fish by the river. But even with that, there wasn't enough time or sources, and there were some things that we couldn't get.

After cooking dinner and tucking my brothers and sister in bed, I sat at the kitchen table unable to sleep. Thoughts filled my head about the future.
I was only 16 and thought about life that has yet to come.
I didn't go to school as I wasn't able to attend college and possibly become a nurse, well, because we couldn't afford it. Yet.
But I had secretly hoped that with some hard work, I could someday become a nurse or a doctor so I could help people.

Mother came home from her work, she was a kindergarten teacher for half a day, then the rest of the day she would sell some little snacks to people out in the sun. It made a little bit of money, and that was good.

She looked absolutely exhausted. I greeted her with a hello and a smile even though she wouldn't have been able to notice it. Her eyes sagged low against her skin that looked like it was getting paler, even though she had brown skin.
I remember when she was beautiful, happier, but it seems so long ago.

I settled the plate of fish, rice, and some vegetables in front of her to eat. A glass of water too.
She picked up the fork and finally noticed my presence. She smiled weakly and lifted up her fork and ate quietly.
I was used it, exhaustion did that to you.

It must've been a long day. But I knew that she loved me. She loved all of us.

Father wasn't home yet, probably still out late working.

I waited for mother to finish eating and put the plates away. I looked back behind me and she was already asleep on the couch.
There was still things to be done, but I wouldn't wake her up for that.

Staring at the pile of clothes in the small basket peeking out, I noticed there was a bit of a stench coming from it, a sign that it's time to wash them.

After putting a blanket over her and a hug, I carried the basket and a small bar of soap and took a 20 minute walk towards the river.

When I arrived, my face lit up. Andrew was there.

"Hey," he greeted me with a dimpled smile from his boat. His dark hair shined under the moonlight.

"Hey yourself," I called, "You fishing?"

"Of course, what else would I be doing at my free time at 9 o'clock in the evening?"
He stared at the basket, "Washing?"

"Is that what time it is?" I asked teasingly, "What else would I be doing?" It was an inside joke exchanged between us.He chuckled pulling in his line.

I met Andrew around five years ago, when I was eleven, he was thirteen. We have been best friends since then. Our families were really good friends too.

The water rippled cooly under my hands. I scrubbed my hands together with the clothing in between, trying to get the stain out that my little brother had made on his red shirt. He had worn it today at his class' Christmas party for the last day before break. I smiled, he was only 5, my other brother who was 8, sister 12.

Pulling in his net with some fish, Andrew paddled back to where I was sitting.

Immediately, after putting his catch aside took a piece of clothing from the basket and started washing it.

He glanced at me and winked. "So how's your day KitKat?" he asked using his special nickname for me. My name was really Catherine. Cathy. Cat. KitKat.

"The usual," I replied, "Papa's not home yet though. Your day?"

"Brilliant. Jasmine said her first word today," he smiled proudly.
Jasmine was his 7 month old little sister.

"That's wonderful! What word?"

Rinsing the blue shirt, he reached for the faded green one and applied some soap on it, "Mama."

I smiled. We both talked for a while, catching up since we last saw each other.
We both shared how our families were doing and other stories.
He told me that he wanted to be a lawyer someday and make lots of money for his family. He would go to school, study, and work hard for it. We both knew it was a bit of a far-fetched dream since he couldn't afford the education. Even with our profits for 5 years put together.

He chuckled lightly, "Yeah I know, impossible right?"

"Nah, don't think so," I said positively. Though I thought about me becoming a doctor and how impossible it was.

"But we have time don't we?" he spoke softly, "to figure things out?"

He was right, we do have time. Once we figured things out for ourselves and when our siblings would be old enough to help support the family, we'd get more money, maybe build a business, who knows what else? That's what I wanted to believe anyways.

I hesitated a bit, prolonging the silence, still unsure of what to say.

"Yeah, we do have time," I finally replied, smiling at him. He grinned back, it was definitely the answer he was looking for.

After rinsing the clothing, we put the clothes back in the basket. Andrew carried his fish, while I the basket as we headed back home.

We walked across the unpaved dirt road in silence.

After a few minutes, Andrew said softly, "Hey Cathy?"

"Mmhm?" I lifted my head up to look at him curiously. He rarely called me Cathy.

"I-uh..how's?" he stuttered nervously.

"Yes?" I raised my eyebrows. He had never been nervous around me before.

"Uhm.. i wanted to talk to you about something... it's kind of weird though, and I..."

A million thoughts rushed into my head.What was he going to talk to me about? I thought nervously. Was it?- No, it couldn't be. My hands started getting all clammy and why did my eyes look around trying to avoid eye contact? He was doing the same and still muttering, trying to say something.
There had never been anything romantic between us before, and I really don't think that there would ever be... I mean, he was Andrew. We're best friends. Just friends.
Despite the talk in our village about us probably eventually getting married and having a family together, I still highly doubted it. We both laughed about hearing that not too long ago of course.
But then why did my stomach feel all light and bubbly?

Interrupting my thoughts, I suddenly heard a strangely loud rumble coming from behind us. I ignored it, but noticed that Andrew heard it too.

"Damn," he shook his head then eyed me worriedly.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, "No, it's okay, what were you saying?"

He perked up and looked at me, giving me that look.
"No Cathy, Dam."

It was then I knew what he was talking about.

We both turned around slowly to see the source.
A great outpouring, large mass of water was suddenly rising high up the air coming from the river, rapidly building up, ready to submerge the land.

"Go," Andrew said loudly.


Next thing I knew, we were both running in opposite directions rushing our way home.

I never did hear what he was going to say.
As only one thing was on my mind right now.

There was going to be a flood.


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To be continued...

Chapter One

I glanced towards him at the corner of my eye while I was putting my books away in my locker and getting my things ready for the next class.

I slapped myself mentally in my head as I was thinking how cute he looked today.
I saw him conversing with his friends, wearing black and blue high top shoes, a longsleeved white shirt that fit him just right. They seem to be laughing at a joke he made.

Oh great, he was funny now too?

His dark brown eyes lit up as he was listening to his best friend tell him a story about the weekend.
I stole a quick look at him one last time before I shut my locker, but at the same time he had met my eye. Oh crap.

I dropped my books and things on the floor and my toes. How clumsy was I?

This was so embarrassing. Mortified, I bent down, quickly trying to gather my things into my bag hoping that he didn't notice me.

Before I could react, he was crouched next to me helping me pick up the pens and pencils that had spilled out of my pencil case, picking up the rest of the books.

I gaped at him in awe.

"Hey," he said normally while putting my books in my bag.

I quickly snapped back into reality and managed to mutter a pitiful, "Hi."

We both stood up simultaneously as he handed my bag.

"Here Scarlet," he said smiling.

"Thanks James," I said taking it shakily with sweaty and nervous palms.

"No problem!"

He ran back to his friends who had already went inside the classroom, leaving me a tingly feeling running through my whole body.

I closed my locker and let out a breath when he was gone as I was holding my breath the whole time. I can't believe I was such an idiot.

I quickly ran my fingers through my already messy hair trying to ignore the silly thoughts running through my mind. What just happened?

I stood there still trying to take what just occurred right here on this very spot.

He looked at me.

He talked to me.

He didn't laugh.

He picked up my books.

I suddenly started smiling like a complete idiot getting all happy inside.

My thoughts went from utter mortification to instant happiness.

Oh happy day! This was going to be a good day! He knows me! I know him! Nothing can stop me now! I can rule the world!!!!!!

Unfortunately, those times of being superior and ruling the world only lasted a few moments.

"Miss Curtis! What are you doing here! Get to class immediately!" A loud and strict voice echoed through the halls.

It was then I had realized that I was the only one left in the hallway.

"Yes Miss Sanders," I replied running to my next class.

Not even the old hag can ruin my happy moment with the most popular guy in school.

Mmhm, not even her.

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Author's note:
Hey guys! I've decided to possibly start a lil story here.

So far you probably already know that the main character's name is Scarlet and she's crushing hardcore on this nice popular dude named James.

I still don't know the title, but I guess each entry will be a chapter! (Even though they are short)

If any of you are wondering, or already infering... this is fiction! Nothing of this story has happened to me nor do I feel this way atm to all you curious farfetched people xD

But I'd like to dedicate this story to one of my good friends who I am basing this story about. And thank her for giving me permission to write it. I hope you like it!

Also please comment, reviews, share etc. It helps me write more ;)

Love is a lot like Pokemon. :)

Boys.

or something like that. :)

Boys.... LOL. Something I don't think I have ever discussed on this blog.

Well maybe I have, like once or twice in a story or something, but not exactly too personal or what I am actually thinkingish.

So yeah, uhm, boys.

They're cool species... I guess.

Man, I'd probably die or something, you know like be all happy inside or speechless and feel a bunch of mixed emotions in my heart, stomach and stuff if a guy probably said this to me...

Or be totally speechless, yeah, that works too.

I think I'm a weird girl sometimes.
When a really attractive guy comes up to me and starts talking to me I turn around or something to check if there's anyone there....

Yeah, socially awkward much?

Him: Hey :)
Me: *turns around.. no ones there* Hi....

Him: I'm (insert incredibly hot name here). What's your name?

Me:... did someone pay for you to do this?

LOL. Well no that didn't actually happen but more of a figment of my imagination.

This is what I think I look like when a super hot guy comes up to me.:

Haha, just kidding. I don't have glasses as cool as those ones. xD

But really, what I like in a guy?

Usually in sleepovers my best friends ask this question, or something.

We girls obviously want prince charming right? Disney gets our hopes up, and crushes them with the guys that are jerks to us in real life.... No offense to disney. (I love Disney! forever a disneygirl!)

Anyways, yeah.

So readers, let me take you to a journey in my mind.

Time to get personal :)

A perfect date :)

Okay.
So for that one I'm a bit laid back.

For me, it's not really about the place, but who you're with.

And how you spend it :)

We could just sit on a hill and talk or have a picnic. Go on a boat ride. Watch the sun come down.

Even a simple dinner and a movie :)

I like funny guys.

He takes me to an amusement park where we ride rollercoasters, forces me to go on it actually... haha, and makes me hold on to him for my dear life as we're going superspeed in a rollercoaster, with terrifying loop de loops!

What a Keeper.

Him: It wasn't so bad was it?
Me: That was terrifying.

Him: Awh, I'm sorry...

Me: Let's go on it again ;)

Then he wins a teddy bear or me or some sort of stuffed animal form at this booth thingy.
Etc. Just spend the whole day having fun is all good :)

~

I came across this picture today and it looks amazing.
Wouldn't it be cool to have a double date in this scene?

Or even a hang out with a bunch of friends! That would be totally fun.

~

So yeah, that's some of my thoughts about boys today.

I don't really spend a whole lot of time thinking about them that much...

Okay, maybe a lil bit ;)

But not too much.

I know that God has something planned for me and I shouldn't worry about boys or having a boyfriend.

Yeah, sure there's peer pressure where all your friends have crushes or boyfriends and you're the only one that's single.

But nah, It's all good for me :)

Jesus is my first love (and forever will be) and I like it that way.

Someday though, a guy will come into my life who is going to be awesome and fits perfectly for me (like a puzzle piece), designed by the amazing creator himself!!!

It shall be awesome.

So for all you girls out there reading this, don't worry about not having the perfect one right now, just let God handle it. He knows what He's doing and has the perfect timing for you.

Don't sulk in your bed all day and complain about not being 'loved'. You ARE loved. By your Heavenly father, your family, and your friends. Just remember you are always always loved.

Smile, hold your chin up and be so thankful because there are a lot of things to think about.

You don't need a guy to complete you. You are a strong, and independent woman.

Remain confident and fierce ;)

May God bless you!!

Peace!
-J :)

You #2

Hello everyone!

So here's another "You" post for you all.

What a "you post" is, is basically me talking about someone who I was just recently thinking about.

I'll leave their identity out but describe their personality and what I think about them.
I'll probably have a post like this once or twice a month!

So here is You #2.

~

Wow. I am just stunned.

First of all I must say that you're pretty amazing.

You are the most honest person I've ever met and you are super kind while telling the truth.

We haven't known each other for very long, been friends for maybe about 4 years.

Though when we met, you were one of the good people in our school.

You are considerate about others, very respectful and in some ways I admire you.

I like how you don't let anyone push you around, but stand up for yourself and stand up for others who can't.

Your smile is genuine, lighting up your eyes, making the mood light and happy.

Though you may not look like the nicest person around, when someone gets to know you, all they can say about you is that you are super awesome, kind, amazing, and so very honest.

If I could describe you in a sentence I'd probably say that you are the friend that everybody wishes they had.

You honour God, a wonderful Christian, a hard worker and a great person.

Your family must be very proud of you.

My other friend and I were talking about you today and I got to say, we had no bad things to say about you. They were all good things.

You're a good listener, and you can take initiative, so so caring. You check how other people are doing, you notice things, if someone is sad you're the first person to approach them, you don't let anybody tell you what to do and you just do it yourself.

Your intentions are so good, you do your best and I want to let you know that you are brilliant.

Though we may not be that close, I feel that when I talk to you I can tell you anything.

You're funny, intelligent and one of the truest friends I've ever known.

So that's what I think about you :)

I don't know if you will or are reading this, but that's the truth.

Nothing bad to say, always good :).

Thanks for being there for me friend. Thank you.

Yikers.

Uh oh.

Did you feel that?

No, of course I didn't it's impossible!

Oh shoot... maybe yeah a little bit.

Annabeth Curtis had stopped listening to her twin sister Anabella. She was droning on and on about a new outfit that she had bought the previous day. Annabeth was excited for her, really, but was suddenly distracted by the sudden feeling in her stomach.

Christopher caught her eye again. This was the 10th time today.

He wore a dark leather jacket and a green tshirt that matched his eyes. His dark hair was ruffled, but yet perfectly messy. He grinned in her direction.

Whoa.

"Annabeth? Hello? Are you even listening to me?" Bella snapped her fingers infront of her face.

I blinked her eyes, "Oh, um, yes of course... I was just, um..."

Bella looked in the direction I was just staring at, "Wait a minute, were you looking at Chris Andrews?"

I blushed and started fiddling with my fingers, "No, of course not. I--"

"Well I don't blame you, he's hot." She smirked.

"Bella!!" my face broke into a small grin, "He's right there!"

"Yeah I can see that... oh and looks like he's looking at you too."

"No he is not, he's probably looking at the... sky or something."

Bella raised her eyebrow, "Yeah, right the sky. Why don't you talk to him?"

"I- well-I," I sputtered, "I don't even know him!"

She stood up from the school steps, "Yeah, sure you do, we go to school with him."

"Yeah, but we hardly talk and I.. er." Annabeth had run out of excuses. "You can't make me."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Don't have to."

"Oh, why's that?" I asked half-jokingly.

"Because he's coming this way."

Sure enough, Chris Andrews was coming, jacket and all.

Oh dear.

Time.

I suddenly feel more open right now.

Like open as in I could say anything I want and wouldn't care what anyone thinks about what I think.

I'm just a person after all. I can't please everyone.

We all are careful about what we say, what we reveal about ourselves to people.

We contain secrets, things we wouldn't want anyone else to know for many different reasons.

Reading about 4 manuscripts of books, uncompleted of course, got me thinking somehow.

I feel somewhat expressive.

I read poetry.

Those random thoughts come in my head as I'm slowly realizing who I am still in life.

I bet I'm not the only one confused.

But really, I do not know what I'll do in the future. Or where I'll be, how I'll turn out.

I suppose I would turn out good. Or something.

I always seem to think of the present. About right now.

Whenever someone asks me about the future, I just think to myself in my head,

No worries, all I'm thinking about is right now.

But out loud I merely just shrug a bit and say, "I don't really know..."

It ends with an awkward smile and it seems as if the woman holds her nose up and nods trying to look satisfied with my answer when clearly she's not and just walks away...

Anyways.

Just watched a great movie. Probably one of my favs.

I'm into those romantic-comedy things. But I wouldn't say this one was really one of those... Idk.

It was mostly comedy...ish. I guess.

Whatever.

I'm not really into genres. You know, giving things labels or anything. I'm sort of that kind of girl who just goes with it.

I guess you could call me chilled and laid back.

Everybody thinks I'm the good girl. I smirk at that thought. Yeah right.

Well maybe.

You could say that I'm lost in my own little world right now.

I don't expect to live a life full of fairytales. You know, things going like they always say they will.

Nah, I don't think I'll elaborate on these thoughts right now.

Back to that movie.

It starred Kevin Zegers.

I admit, he was one of my crushes back then. Back when no one really knew who he was.

I have a knack for those things. Being interested in the less trendy things, not exactly popular things. Well Idk.

Then all of a sudden they go popular after a few years.

It's weird.

I like being different.

Which I am. All the time.

I don't really remember a moment where I fit in anywhere. In anyplace.

Always that one sticking out.

Not that one standing out from the rest though, not even the one who gets attention because they're unique and special.

But more of that one. That one that you hardly see. The weird one.

I'm probably one of those types who reads under the shade of a tree during a warm sunny springtime on the fresh green grass. Imperfect blue jeans, a bit messy. A pencil stuck behind one of her ears, a plain shirt- nothing special, and normal sneakers. Not even brand name ones. Just plain ol' regular.

While that's happening, you got the populars, the jocks, you know those types, the blonde girls twirling their hair and flirting with their superstar football quarterback boyfriends, gossiping, texting on their phones with perfectly manicured fingernails.

Then you got the smart people, studying for their next math test.

Etc. Etc.

Gosh how I hate labels and stereotypes.

I don't belong in any of those groups.

I'm the silent, quiet type who doesn't really say anything.

And quite frankly, I like it that way.

I have a mind and I have many things to say. I have an opinion and I like things my way.

(Hey, that rhymed.)

Bet you either looked back to see if it did if you haven't noticed already, or you smiled as you're reading this.

Or both.

I like having fun too.

I'm a very fun person, trust me on that.

Quite forgiving too.

But tough. Don't underestimate me.

Yeah, I guess this blog post turned out to be some random facts about me or something.

Felt like opening up a bit.

The last time this will happen on here. It's late. That's probably why.

People do crazy things at night.

My favorite times of the day is either very very early in the morning or very very late at night. I like those times. Because that's when I find peace the most. The world is quiet and calm. I can think for myself. No worries. Just you and the present. Nothing else that's in your way or can bring you down.

I like snowfall.

I like rain.

I like pie.

I like things that nobody usually likes. Different things.

Water. Birds. Turtles. And neat little trinkets.

Things like that.

Pain.

I'm feeling absolutely dreadful.

Oh you know, besides the excruciating physical pain I'm feeling at the moment and have been feeling for over 6 hours!!

This is dreadful.

Not to mention the lack of support and positiveness -.-"

Nothing has been really smooth lately. You think it's all smooth marble then bam! You hit a majorly rocky road.

I wish I was a bird sometimes. Or maybe a cheetah.
So I can either fly far far away or run really fast from my worries and troubles and get it over with.

It's a constant thing.

Sometimes. All I need is a hug.
And maybe a shoulder to cry on.
Yeah, that'd be nice.

But there's no one here.
No one here to tell me, "Its gonna be alright." or "You can do it girl, just keep going!"
"the pain will be worth it... I know it hasn't been easy for you, but you're strong. You'll be just fine"

I can only really imagine those things said to me.

Why? Why is this happening?